Breakfast topic: Not tonight, honey, I have a raid
by Elizabeth Wachowski 
Apr 18th 2007 at 8:00AM
In our recent thread on the delicious yet filthy Alliancecake cooked up by a player's fiancee, one player remarked that he'd like to see more relationships where gaming habits are accepted, rather than mocked.
I've seen a lot of complaints along this line on the forums. How can I get my girlfriend into WoW? Why does my boyfriend complain whenever I play? Then there are the problems that arise when the significant other does start playing WoW. My boyfriend is constantly hogging the computer. My fiancee only wants to play elves. Why do my guildmates keep hitting on my wife? Help, my girlfriend rolled the same class I did and we're fighting for gear!
So, for today's Breakfast Topic, we ask for your thoughts on this tricky topic. Is it better to have a significant other who plays WoW, or one who doesn't? How does your boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever react to your gaming habit? What are your tips for balancing a successful relationship and WoW, or, alternatively, what are your horror stories?
Filed under: Breakfast topics
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
Tumples Apr 18th 2007 8:09AM
I just don't talk about it to her.
Matt Rossi Apr 18th 2007 8:15AM
My wife and I both play. It actually can be really fun to do quests with your significant other.
priest Apr 18th 2007 8:17AM
I played WOW for 1 month before my other half wanted to "give it a go". Two years later, we both still play.
I don't doubt that had she not got into it, I'd probably have either given up long ago, or not got as far as I would have.
Geth Apr 18th 2007 8:33AM
My boyfriend had played wow for a few months but had already quit when I started on it. When I started playing, he came back too. It was loads of fun, but he didn't like to feel addicted to this game, so he decided to quit.
I've tried, so many different ways, so many times to get him back playing, but he just won't. We didn't have any of the probs you mentioned. The only problem we had was that we couldn't do -all- quests together cause we played on different times (sometimes).
daniel Apr 18th 2007 8:30AM
I'm single, problem solved! :D
Gridneo Apr 18th 2007 8:33AM
@3...
Same thing I guess... She would come over in the early stages of our relationship ship and watch me play, or be on her own on nights she had to raid... She got a new computer for graduation and wanted to give it a go... We've had issues with me trying to give her helping hints on playing her Warlock (her decision to create one; of course I think it's easy mode), and I've just now got her into paying attention to patch notes for changes, etc... We're living together now, and she's still chugging along... I still have to reinstall all her mods after serious patches, but just the other day she got all excited and told me to come look at what she just got... It was her 40 Fel Steed... Gratz babe. And it doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment, but guildies of mine tell me that their girlfriends are like in their teens after months of play or something...
Gridneo Apr 18th 2007 8:34AM
Hehe ^ ... On nights I had to raid...
Twinny Apr 18th 2007 8:43AM
engaged to marry my wow partner.
Rolled together last year around july warlock (moi) and mage (herself). Always contending for the same gear but it doesnt matter, a simple roll solves any debates.
We raid on the same nights and look after the guild, both really enjoy it but need more time to ourselves... well thats what we keep promising anyway.
Couldnt be better IMO, i used to play FPS in leagues and she didnt like FPS all that much, when i had to leave my cal team i took up wow to relax.
thedog Apr 18th 2007 8:48AM
My g/f and I played until she moved away to be with her family. The breakup was hard on me and it made it worse that we played together.
However, I loved that I could play and spend time with her at the same time.
Ana Apr 18th 2007 8:52AM
My husband and I started playing together because we both enjoy RPGs. But with console games, we would get into "saved game" battles over Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts. In my more facetious moments I'll tell people that WoW saved our (then impending) marriage. :-P
I love being able to play together - our desks are side by side, and questing or raiding it's a wonderful thing to be able to share our hobby.
DDRFan2006 Apr 18th 2007 8:56AM
I got into playing WoW after my ex-boyfriend begged me for like a year to start playing. We broke up a month and a half ago and I still play on my own. When we used to play together we had a blast. So I think it is best to have your mate playing WoW with you. :-)
Becca Apr 18th 2007 8:58AM
My boyfriend and I got WoW on the same day and are still playing. We used to play FFXI with each other, but the game was a little too slow-paced for us, so we got into WoW. Been playing for a little over a year now; we both have level 60+ characters (no 70s yet, but we're both altaholics), we're both officers in the same guild, usually we don't grind or quest much with each other, but we do a lot of raids together...it's great.
Trippy Apr 18th 2007 10:45PM
My hubby plays Dark Age of Camelot and I play WoW(not for lack of trying to get him to switch though LOL). We have separate computers so I never have to worry about having enough computer time which makes things easier. We may not always understand what the other one is talking about when discussing our games, but he does totally understand raid nights.
Sylythn Apr 18th 2007 9:12AM
My gf and I play on the same server - but unfortunately as she was a veteran alliance, and I was a veteran horde when I transferred, we're on opposite sides with our 70's. I'm really active in my guild, and she's a raider in hers (sister guilds actually), so there's a lot of nights where we just have vent to connect us. I'd much rather be running raids and high-level content with her, but ah well. I'm working on a lower-level druid to run with her and a couple of our friends (all druids) - just to get a bit more time in with her. Currently we're about 2000 miles away from each other, so WoW is great for making that distance seem a little bit less.
Kazkek Apr 18th 2007 9:26AM
My girlfriend only likes to play up to about 20 then she gets bored.. So I have her play all my characters up until that point. Works out since I hate being a low level. So now I have about every class and race up to atleast 20. ^_^
annoula Apr 18th 2007 9:13AM
My then boyfriend (now fiance) was banned from warcraft. He gets rather addicted to that sort of thing and managing going to seperate colleges six hours apart was difficult enough. Then a friend of mine from college convinced me to play. I tried it and got completely hooked. By the time I got to lvl 12 I called him and let him know he was allowed to play.
Years later, we're in the same guild and quest together often. On a pvp server it's great to have someone you always play with. Nothing like a rogue trying to gank you only to have another rogue coming out of nowhere to kick their ass.
Started up a priest/mage combo. There's nothing to ease the pain of a kill X quest by a priest/mage combo.
Braz Apr 18th 2007 9:18AM
I am surprised at how many couples are reporting that they play together. My situation is quite different, because my girlfriend doesn't understand/doesn't like World of Warcraft, along with most other games apart from those on the Nintendo DS. If I was a hardcore raider it might put a strain on the relationship, but as a casual player it isn't too much of an issue.
I did once convince her to try the game. She played a Paladin to level 4, and then never played again; so I would say that the chances of conversion are low at this point.
I think that many boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses see games like WoW as competitors for time, attention, and even affection, which leads them to complain about time spent with the game. WoW does tend to consume huge chunks of time (when is the last time that you played less than an hour? Less than two hours?), which also causes problems.
For those with boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses who do not like your WoW playing, I recommend that you calmly explain to them that WoW--and videogames in general--are a hobby, and that they should respect your passions in the same way that you respect theirs. Not letting your playtime get out of control helps too.
Kaw Apr 18th 2007 9:22AM
My wife could care less. At least im out of her hair :)
BoBoTheChimp Apr 18th 2007 9:23AM
It's all about time management. I only really get to play at night between the hours of 7pm to 12 midnight. This is usually when my fiancée is at work. Then I just chat with her on AIM on my laptop while I'm playing WoW until 12. Then it's her time before I go to sleep. If you make sure you balance your real life and your playing time you should be fine. If you are with someone that doesn't respect you doing something that makes you happy (as long as it doesn't get out of hand) then you should question why you are with them in the first place. Sometimes when she is over, she likes to watch me play too which works out when I need to check on an auction ;)
fifteen Apr 18th 2007 9:23AM
When the game was launched in Europe we had only one computer and we were fighting all the time for it. I was playing WoW, she was playing Sims. Then she started to play a lock on my account but even if I enjoyed helping her with the first quests/areas after some time it was fighting again. :) "Just 10 more mins to ding please..." At that time character transfer was not possible from account to account (I even asked Blizz officially about it but they refused to move her char) so it was a tough decision to buy another account for her and kill her lvl 40 cute gnome lock. She started to lvl a human lock this time and no suprise she got to 40 in no time this second time. Then she got her own PC and since then we are playing on the same desk but on our own accounts and PCs. I was playing Horde for some time, why she was still grinding on her lock, but it seems I always get back to her. Playing together is sometimes hard cause we are both of the smart kind but we are in the same guild, now wife and husband and we gave the first born to the guild last summer. :) I'd say that even if you are not on the same addiction lvl (I'm not really playing anything else, while she's still spending some days playing Sims) it's better to have someone who can understand your hobbie and the countless hours you spend at your PC than someone who's just watching your back every night while you are killing bosses in raid instances and thinks you are sick.