Blizzard to Boll: Thanks, but no thanks
by Mike Schramm 
Apr 21st 2008 at 4:32PM
There is probably no name more reviled in the realm of film than Uwe Boll -- he's the man behind such horrible games-to-films as House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark (the latter of which, I am somewhat embarrassed to say, I tried to watch). And while it isn't really news that Uwe Boll isn't directing the World of Warcraft movie (we already knew, from back at Blizzcon, that Legendary Pictures is handling it, and Boll usually uses his own financing and production companies), but this is too great a story to pass up. Apparently when Boll heard that a Warcraft movie was being made, he actually went to Blizzard to try to get it done, and they told him straight up: no, never, not in a million years.Actually, Boll himself tells the story over on MTV Movies as "we will not sell the movie rights, not to you.... especially not to you." Which is pretty hilarious. He himself also says that "because it's such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income, what the company has with it." So yes, he pretty much guarantees that any movie he makes would be a bad movie anyway.
So there's at least one great thing we can say about the Warcraft movie so far: Blizzard at least cares enough about the quality of the flick to not let Uwe Boll make it. This doesn't guarantee us a good movie, of course. But it's nice to know that the higher ups at Blizzard know to keep their property away from this nut.
[via Worldofwar.net]
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Fan stuff, Blizzard, Humor, Rumors
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
PeeWee Apr 21st 2008 4:37PM
You can stop Uwe Boll!
http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/06/uwe-boll-will-quit-making-movies-with-one-million-signatures/
Sign the petition at http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html
Probably a PR stunt, but still...
Harmun Apr 22nd 2008 9:58AM
I've always wondered how people like him get the ear of people who don't want to deal with him... I would imagine blizzard has a secretary they could use to keep sending him to a general voicemail that never gets returned...
Brandon Tilley Apr 21st 2008 4:48PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Pure awesome!
Jay Apr 21st 2008 4:51PM
This guy (Boll) is a tool, kind of a modern day Ed Wood come to think of it.
The only thing Uwe Boll actually ever did do correctly was make that god awful movie Blood Rayne, that movie alone has to be the best film ever to watch completely drunk...
Myself and my friends couldn't stop laughing, the execution of the dialog, right down to Christina Loken getting her cans out... classic stuff.
Badger Apr 21st 2008 5:05PM
I would direct all of your readers to the Cinemablend article entitled "Uwe Boll: Money for Nothing," which explains, in great detail, the reasoning behind Boll's projects: Thanks to retarded loophole in German tax law, Boll actually gains massive profits from privately funded projects when his films tank, and his projects are funded, in turn, by private third-parties as tax write-offs. So, we have German tax law and Boll's own head-firmly-planted-in-ass level of greed to thank for the monstrosity that is his career.
Unfortunately, Cinemablend has apparently utterly dismantled this page on their site, as links to this article no longer work ... But I would encourage any of you who are curious to wait a few days and search for "Uwe Boll: Money for Nothing" on Google. I just tried it myself and it's the first result.
Jim Apr 21st 2008 5:09PM
Who could have guessed the Bundestag loved "The Producers "?
Springtime, for Uwe...
Badger Apr 21st 2008 5:10PM
Great news! I just found this on ComingSoon.net!
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Uwe Boll Loses German Tax Shelter Funds
Source: The Hollywood Reporter
January 15, 2008
German director Uwe Boll will return to low-budget filmmaking now that his latest and biggest production, the $70 million fantasy epic In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, bombed at the box office.
The $3 million opening marked the third flop in a row for Boll, whose BloodRayne and Alone in the Dark also failed to deliver theatrically.
Reached at his home in Mainz, Boll said the results from "King" mean he will be unable to continue with big-budget productions.
"In the future, I will focus on small films such as (the video game adaptation) 'Postal' or (the Vietnam war drama) 'Tunnel Rats,' " he said. "These are films that represent my true passion, and they can be done with small budgets."
Despite a number of critical and commercial drubbings, Boll has been able to finance bigger budget films through German tax shelter funds. But "King" marked the last film to be bankrolled by his fund, which, like all similar tax shelters, has been banned in Germany.
Boll will now have to finance films the old-fashioned way -- with presales. Given the director's record, that could prove difficult.
The German director has also lined up a decidedly pulpy title for his next adaptation -- the video game shoot 'em up Zombie Massacre.
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Looks like he really screwed up with 'Dungeon Siege!' That would explain why he approached Blizzard so openly and had to respond as carefully as he did, rather than launching into a tirade like he did with Wired. He's desperate, because all his money has dried up!
Reinard Apr 21st 2008 5:24PM
Oh man. This absolutely made my day.
BartmanDK Apr 21st 2008 6:14PM
Thank god for that.. If he made a movie out of WoW he would be hounded by angry lore-nerds everytime he went outside his door!! :D
But in all fairness i cant wait to see "Postal" since i cant think of anyone other then him to make a movie out of that
Laura Apr 21st 2008 7:30PM
Just want to say that I saw him in edmonton for the film festival this winter where he showed "Postal" (god it was fucking funny!) and he pretty much knows that what he's doing is crap but he doesn't really care. I mean come on, what do you expect out of a movie that is based off of a game? (doom anyone?)
On that note I am glad that he won't be doing the Warcraft movie because I want something a little more "epic" with it.
jbodar Apr 21st 2008 10:21PM
"I mean come on, what do you expect out of a movie that is based off of a game? (doom anyone?)"
Umm, I'd expect at least a half-way decent popcorn flick, which Boll cannot even deliver on. 'Not sucking' isn't very hard.
Jasonuscg Apr 22nd 2008 12:23AM
"I mean come on, what do you expect out of a movie that is based off of a game? (doom anyone?)"
All I can say to you is Silent Hill, Mortal Kombat, & Resident Evil.
Jamie Apr 22nd 2008 5:12AM
Not to stand up for Mr.Boll, but if all you can say is '(the latter of which, I am somewhat embarrassed to say, I tried to watch)' then you aren't really in any position to pass judgement on his 'horrible' films.
Orloph Apr 22nd 2008 6:00AM
1) Phew ! Thanks goodness.
2) BWAhaHaHaHaHaHAh !!!!!
thatquietgamerdude Apr 22nd 2008 7:32AM
That's a relief. Now they just need to balance the focus of the movie (Alliance POV, my ass >_
LostOne Apr 22nd 2008 9:57AM
It doesn't surprise me that Blizzard told Uwe no. In fact I'm surprised they didn't have big muscle-bound goons toss Uwe out on his butt.
Blizzard wants the movie to be the blockbuster of the summer that year, because if it is a huge huge success, that's just going increase/renew interest in the game from people who used to play or have never played.
p3ngu11 Apr 22nd 2008 1:41PM
His current project is an adaptation of the game "Postal".
bashfullson Apr 22nd 2008 4:13PM
Put the camera down, mr Boll.
Nobody needs to get hurt.
Just put the camera down, slowly and walk away
Brawli55 Apr 22nd 2008 4:59PM
He is such a bad director - he made the gorgeous and ample bodies Kristina Loken look like a frumpy mess. Stripped of her skin in Terminator 3 - she was still hotter than she was in Bloodrayne.
Qui Apr 22nd 2008 10:10PM
Uwe Boll is a wonderful man who does things far more relevant and consequential than you basement blogging vidiots.