Breakfast Topic: Should the girlfriend play WoW?
by Adam Holisky 
Jan 8th 2009 at 8:00AM
I have a confession to make.My girlfriend doesn't play WoW. However she probably knows more about it than most people. She's been there when I hoot and holler over vent when I've defeated hard bosses like Kale'thas. And she's listened to me whine and complain about how I think everyone on the internet hates me (I'm kidding of course, it's only Retribution Paladins and Death Knights who hate me, or maybe it was Protection Warriors and Elemental Shamans, I can never remember).
Occasionally she can be found browsing the site to see what I've been working on. Like the time that I was in LA at BlizzCon and Mike Schramm sent me forth to risk my life in a fire. That went over well.
But despite my immersion in the game and the community surrounding it she has yet to pick up a sword and fight the Horde.
I'm trying to figure out if that's something that should change.
Of course it's not my decision to make, but it's a good thing if couples have their own activities. WoW is sorta my thing, and while I love her and all that jazz, I have to wonder if WoW should just be my thing. A thing I can get away from it all with. A thing that I don't have to worry about giving her enough gold to buy an epic flying mount. A thing where I don't have to explain why my Night Elf Druid likes to dance naked on top of mailboxes.
Of course with all that said I think it would be good if we can play a detailed game together. We enjoy the board games and card games. Monopoly rocks and all that. But there's nothing like an RPG where you find yourself immersed in a virtual world with real people.
This is something we're discussing, and we should have a decision made soon. It is taking a while since the discussion is coming in-between episodes of Ghost Hunters and Keith Olberman, but we're still talking about it.
So I ask you WoW Insider readers, should my girlfriend play WoW? Is this game better as a couple's activity or as my solo thing?
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Breakfast topics
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 15)
Josh Jan 8th 2009 8:06AM
Keep her away!
Esk Jan 8th 2009 10:03AM
You should get her to play WoW, specially since she seems interested in the game and in your activities.
I can tell you from the other point of view (I'm a girl.. and after about 2 years of playing it I convinced my boyfriend to play too). And it's great! The game is a whole lot better now, since we enjoy it together.
Think about a normal day... you're at work 8 hours + 2 hours on the road back and forth. When you get home.. you should be doing something together as a couple. If you go raiding.. she watches TV.. it's really not that cool as when you do something together. :)
There are slight drawbacks (I bought him 3x epic flight skills up to now.. for each new cool main he decided to play).. but then again, after 4 years of WoW making gold is no longer an issue.
And really, the benefits of playing together compensate more than enough the slight drawbacks you might have in the game!
Pyornthe Jan 8th 2009 11:58AM
I'm in the same boat as Esk up there. Started playing WoW before my boyfriend, and eventually convinced him to come join me. Before that, I was in a relationship with a guy who played WoW a fair bit, and I always found it somewhat isolating since my computer was too poor to run it.
However, now, I really enjoy having my significant other available to play with. You've always got someone who can help you out, and who you can help. It's exciting to watch each other progress, and surprisingly, you still have a good deal of personal freedom on WoW. I could go make my Draenei shaman [male] dance nekkie on a mailbox and since we're not constantly glued together, he would have no idea.
If you think it's something you would enjoy, definately introduce her. It's worth a few epic fliers, dontcha think?
Raistlinin Jan 14th 2009 1:34AM
My wife and I both work busy schedules and rarely have time to spend together, when we do we chose to slay the horde together and raid with our guild this is "our" activity is that wrong?
Jess Q. Jan 8th 2009 1:31PM
I'm the same as Esk and Pyornthe. I played WoW for quite a while but was very casual and usually only played over summer and winter break so I could focus on school. (I should really start doing that again, but, I'm an addict.)
I kept trying and trying to convince my boyfriend to play, but he would have none of it. He teased me for playing something so nerdy and was more of a console guy. At the time, he also didn't have a computer as good as mine. (Yes, how horrible for him. His girlfriend had the better computer.)
Finally, for Christmas, around the time BC came out, I bought him vanilla WoW. He was like, oh man, why did you buy this? But he played the trial and ended up liking it. Although for a while he thought the idea of paying monthly for a game was absurd, so I think I bought him a subscription card whenever I wanted to play so he would play with me. I was totally an enabler.
Now he plays more than me, and it kind of ticks me off that he's better than I am. I've never been a great gamer, I guess, but I still know things he doesn't: yesterday he didn't know you could hit ESC to stop attacking Maexxna and we wiped partially because of it - but he's the one the raid leaders whisper to group with, not me. It's a bit annoying.
Partially it's the class (he's a rogue, I'm a warlock), partially it's his tenacity (he'll stay in LookingForGroup ALL DAY and run things as often as possible, while that starts to wear on me after a while and I'm shy to advertise in LFG sometimes) and partially it's because I have to go to school and he's currently sitting on his ass unemployed. The other day I asked him to /played and he's logged literally twice as much time into his level 80 than I have into mine, though even with school and alts I got to 80 just a few days after him.
So, it's fun to play together, but be aware there will be little issues if she's the type to get jealous if you progress faster than she does (or seemingly so). But I mean, I don't give him that much crap. I just try that much harder to be a better player, you know? I don't regret introducing him to the game. Usually. ;P
Maddeh Jan 8th 2009 3:04PM
well, i play with my boyfriend, and honestly this game would be much too boring if i didn't
Molly Jan 8th 2009 3:12PM
I play WoW with my fiance who got me into it three or so years ago, and we love playing together! We have a daughter who's not quite a year old, so she goes to bed very early at night. Our leisure activities, however, have to stay at near silent level so as not to wake her.. so WoW with headphones is something we love to do :).
That being said.. if you feel you need your virtual space, but she's interested in playing and wants to learn more about the game, I'd encourage her to roll on a different realm. Maybe one you have a few alts on so that you can spare her 50g here or there, but nothing where you'll have to have your main running to help her all the time if you think it'll come to that.
Wakleon Jan 9th 2009 7:45PM
My vote is leave it up to here. If she wants to then there is one more thing in common that you can do, but don't make her play. But be forewarned. BO NOT WAKE HER UP AT 3AM TO FILL THE LAST SLOT IN YOUR RAID!
Michelle Jan 9th 2009 9:13PM
Same boat here as well!
It's better the 2 of you play because it is a form of communication.
I still remember the old days when I don't play WoW. My boyfriend was raiding for 3+ hours. That's suck.
rose-marie paradis Jan 10th 2009 10:04PM
I'm myself a girlfriend
We have our "alone toon" and some that we wait the other to be there to level it up
He now prefers to play with me, and its keeping him from addiction, cause I control more the time we play
He helps me level mine too, cause he wants to raid with me
We try to have professions that will help both but don't go in competition, so we kinda do everything we need without having many many toons each
In conclusion, play with your girlfriend is fun for both, but both have to love it
Muntun Jan 8th 2009 8:06AM
I'm sure it would be fun for both of you if she were to play with you..of course you will have to take care of her all the, lend her gold, kill her gankers etc etc...
of course, she might not like the game and end up disgruntled everytime she sees you playing it..
It's a risk, you feeling lucky ? :D
Clint Jan 8th 2009 9:51AM
Or the other way around... She could become fully engrossed and play more than you.
My gf plays, overall I'd say it is a good thing. She is just leveling (somewhere in her late 30s - belf lock), but it is nice when I make references to the game and she understands what I am saying.
But you will find yourself answering --a-lot-- of noob questions. What is a 'miss direct' ? How come you can't just fly there? Is x piece of gear better than y?
Frijona Jan 8th 2009 12:11PM
@Clint
That may be true, but having his girlfriend be interested in the same thing he is and asking those questions, he'll probably be so excited that she's interested in what he loves that he'll be more than happy to answer them for her.
My guildmate introduced his wife to the game and he rolled a character to level up alongside her and he couldn't stop gushing about how much fun he was having watching her experience the game.
Nonny Jan 9th 2009 3:56AM
I was the "Girlfriend Introduced To The Game," and now I play more than my husband. I've spent a good part of the past 2 years raiding to various degrees, while he never saw more in TBC than Kara and ZA (scheduling probs).
I'm the one buying *him* things, although he can buy his own epic flying. And answering all the "how to not be a huntard" questions now that he's re-rolled. :)
Doodlebug Jan 8th 2009 8:07AM
Prepare to work very hard to get her what she wants... like epic flying, all those pretty gems, oh... and about a million other things. ^_^
sara Jan 8th 2009 9:45AM
Well, as the Girlfriend That Started Playing, I want to point out that this is just as much a stereotype as the gamer stereotype we all hate... I hit 70 before my significant other, I hit 80 before him, I JC to get my own gems, *I* sponsored *his* epic land mount, and I started raiding for that epic gear before him. We raid together now, and we pat each other's back (oh how I love those elixirs of mighty agility he makes!) but if I loan gold from him, I send it back as soon as I can.
She might become the stereotypical girlfriend gamer, or she might start enjoying the game and want to do things her own way. Or, like a couple in our guild, you might enjoy doing things in WOW together so much you just, well, do everything together. Ain't no harm, if you're enjoying it.
Manatank Jan 8th 2009 12:26PM
My girlfriend loaned me the gold to buy my epic flyer on my second toon in Northrend so I wouldn't have to crawl around at 60% speed while leveling from 77 to 80. Come to think of it she loaned me money to buy the epic flier I have on my main... She also the best healer I've ever seen (I'm not exaggerating). She's carried more raids than I can count.
Chris Jan 8th 2009 4:25PM
I've been playing since 2nd Stress Test and got my wife into the game @ a year and a half after release.
It's great that she plays; we chat about the game often and she doesn't feel left out since we are now BOTH on our PC's in the evenings after work. I will say, I have felt a little guilty at times, since there are often more productive ways we could spend our time. But, all in all, I am very happy with the situation.
And...just to help break the stereotype: she spends a much greater portion of her time making money with the Auction House than I do. In fact, she supplied me with the G for my Epic Flying (I love you, honey!).
Ron Jan 8th 2009 8:11AM
I would say that would have to depend on her. If she is feeling left out or abandoned, sure! The last thing you want to do in a relationship is to ignore the other person. If she doesn't feel left out and is content doing something she enjoys while you are playing then let it be, you probably have a good thing going. The other thing you would have to consider is amount of time played... My wife did start playing, but she liked to maybe 30 minutes a day (what's the point of that?) so needless to say those characters didn't progress much and I always found myself playing another character which eventually became my main. Where I'm going with this is that it actually put a cramp in my playing style, so when she decided to quit I was relieved.
elstor Jan 8th 2009 8:10AM
Don't give her all your gold and buy her bags! don't do it!