Filed under: Humor

First of all, I would like to congratulate Keyra for winning the virtual cookies! This batch is vegan upon request, comes with a nice tall glass of cold soy milk, and I'll even throw in some fresh berries. Khloe Kardashian was the right answer to last week's impromptu trivia question!

Watch out for this week's trivia question, buried in amongst the comics.

Unfortunately, I didn't receive any new comic tips, but I don't think you'll be disappointed!

On a side note, I feel very lucky that photographing one's collection of My Little Ponies is a relatively popular occurrence, for how else would I have found such a lovely epic pony? I had more to choose from than I would have imagined, but I finally narrowed it down to the lucky pony on the right.

We (and the rest of the geek world) loves ourselves some Penny Arcade, and today's comic is worth mentioning given its commentary on Blizzard's latest plans for a premium iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad auction house and armory application. First it starts with a simple auction house app, then a rogue app, and then the iHeal.

Yes, there's an app for that.

So for your required geek reading today, you must go read their blog post, then read the comic, and then pass it along to ten friends or guildmates. After that you can call yourself a nerd, but not before.

For more comics, check out our weekly roundup -- Sunday Morning Funnies.

Robin Torres writes WoW, Casually for the player with limited playtime. Of course, you people with lots of playtime can read this too, but you may get annoyed by the fact that we are unashamed, even proud, of the fact that beating WoW isn't our highest priority. Take solace in the fact that your gear is better than ours, but if that doesn't work, remember that we outnumber you. Not that that's a threat, after all, we don't have time to do anything about it. But if WoW were a democracy, we'd win.

This week, dear Reader with Limited WoW Playtime, I am going to let you in on my thought process. This is partially to create a kind of casual WoW.com reading list, partially to tackle topics too small to fill up a whole column and partially to show that normality is not my strong suit. But who wants to be normal? Normal is boring.

So here are a few excerpts from what goes on in my mind when thinking about this column, starring Me, Myself and I (not in order of appearance):

Reader comments -- ahh, yes, the juicy goodness following a meaty post. [1.Local] ducks past the swinging doors to see what readers have been chatting about in the back room over the past week.

Some of us had a little trouble focusing on the topics at hand this past week. It seems we were, ahh, a wee bit distracted by the puppies.

Hooch [Quite possibly crazy]: Firs ...
*distracted by puppies*
krizzlybear: Oh look, what a surprise. someone trying to mask a first po --
*also distracted by puppies*
Nicknin10do: Hooch, you're so cra ...
*also distracted by puppies*
Hal: This is the dumbest thing I ...
*distracted*
D'awwwww.
Narshe: What is this? I don't even --
*gasp*
elstor: Wow you guys are so la --
*distracted by puppies*
Sev: C-c-c-combo brea -- Dawww, so cute.
God damn it, the puppies got to me, too.
The220: Many pups ... now! Handle it!

Ok, ok, don't slap us with minus 50 DKP! ... More of the week's distractions (plus several juicy conversations that actually stayed on target), after the break.

Ladies and gentlemen, and all those with paws/hooves, etc, I think we might just be entering a new phase of the Sunday Morning Funnies. Why? Because this week's list is pretty long too.

So long, in fact, that I had to throw it all behind the break again. Have I missed any? Do you know of a comic that isn't listed here? If so, throw it into the comments section! Let's see just how long we can make this thing. Hunt them down, and leave me a tip.

Last week, I seem to recall promising you a Long Cat. Just to be safe, I've delivered two. Yes, you can all has long cats.

Thank goodness!

Anyone else relieved that this funky device is removed from the game? I have to admit, I wasn't a big fan of the big head look. I've been "pitied" many times by random players (and even those in my own guild). Dwarves and mohawks just don't seem to mix. In any case, Crygil has confirmed that the mohawk grenade will not be around any longer. Ever since the grenade became active on servers back in November, I couldn't walk around Dalaran without seeing large heads everywhere. Is this the last time we'll ever see Mr. T plant these grenades in game for players to use?

Somehow, I have a hunch that this won't be the last time we'll see mohawks in game.

This week's list is huge. Massive. You have to click through the break to even see it! But I warn you: before you do, you might want to make some preparations.

Cancel whatever you have scheduled today.

Make a pot of coffee.

Do some stretches; long bouts of sitting are unhealthy.

Feed the cats. Let the dog out.

Seriously, this list is big. It's unruly!

P.S. I tried to get you guys a good Long Cat picture but I failed you all. Maybe next time? Yes. Next time.

In a related note, I have a distaste for the new way to search through the icanhascheezburger site.

Ready? Set. Go!

As if it weren't enough that we have to tolerate protection warrior dominance in PvP as the first sign of the impending apocalypse, we started getting tips about a somewhat...odd-looking Russian commercial two days ago featuring Evgeni Plushenko, an Olympic gold medalist and three-time World Champion. By now, YouTube's gotten in on the joke with the Related Videos sidebar as well.

Finished watching it? Yep -- what you're seeing above is a riff on Blizzard's Wrath of the Lich King trailer as envisioned by Oriflame, a cosmetics company advertising their Glacier Ice cologne. If they're not actually riffing on the trailer, then apparently their marketing department shares a hive mind with Blizzard's cinematics team, which may become troublesome around the time the latter starts storyboarding the Cataclysm trailer.

I am stricken by a sudden vision of Burma-Shave advertisements in Gilneas: This cooling shave / Will never fail / To stamp its user / Alpha male / Burma-Shave.

For a while I wasn't sure if I'd continue playing World of Warcraft into the next expansion. I was by no means planning on giving up my gaming habit, but I really felt like I was ready for something new: either another MMO or one of the latest generation consoles. Many pros and cons were weighed, and I have decided to stick with WoW for at least one more expansion. It was a difficult decision for me but in the end it was the rocks that won me over.

Yes, the rocks.

This week, we have a new addition to the list, The Daily Blink. You'll also find zombie chickens, snacking kitties, a comic relief talbuk, a 'chef,' and shoulder armor, all out looking for some noms.

• From Pocketkitten: Cooking Fail.
• NPC: Teaching 101. NPC: Chickens Gone Wild. NPC: Fear of Projection.
• Torment of the Week.
• Check out the latest from Guilded Age and Teh Gladiators.
• Daily Quests: Lasherweave Bites.
• LFG #321 and #322.
• Beyond the Tree: Walking the Diggers.
• Dark Legacy Comics: Surgery.
• Complex Actions: Fairy Tales and Wet Dreams.
• Equinox vs Chillwinter.
• WoW eh: Mr. Know-it-All. Love that last frame! I also love how you did a better job at rendering the Taunka than Blizzard did.
• Sparkly Doom: If WoW Was Life.
• The Daily Blink: Save Illidan!

Reader comments -- ahh, yes, the juicy goodness following a meaty post. [1.Local] ducks past the swinging doors to see what readers have been chatting about in the back room over the past week.

Tomorrow's the Big Day for one of WoW.com's own. Join us in congratulating Michael Gray and his bride Katherine on their marriage. It seems that this couple has been treading on geeky ground from the very start. Now, Michael has given us permission to share excerpts from the ceremony with the gang at [1.Local] here today. We've tucked in the wedding benediction at the end of this week's column ... Best wishes to the happy couple!

And now, on to the week's comment highlights.

One of my favorite things about World of Warcraft is how much culture seeps into the game. I don't mean the influences of Asian architecture in Moonglade, or the Native American aesthetic of the Tauren race. I mean the references to internet memes, pop culture, and literature. These little things always make me smile, and they're one of the many things I missed during the 17 days I played Aion last year. Eastern games might have been where I found my first love, but it's Blizzard's flair and style that turned me on to American game development. In fact, those little jokes are a lot like a warm blanket that keeps me toasty warm on those chilly nights...

But do you know what's better than an ordinary blanket?

Friends at Blizzard, please hear me out. Do you see the image above? I want one. I want one like I want a Slap Chop or a Bedazzler. I want to get on my Snuggie in the World of Warcraft. I want one for the whole guild. It would be perfect for those drafty raid instances! My ordinary tabard just doesn't keep me warm from head to toe... Okay, my absurdity level is getting out of hand.

As I promised you last week, today's list is quite robust. The list even features a new comic for us all to enjoy, and the return to weekly updates from a couple of your favorite artists. Get reading!

• Battlemasters: Let's Get It On!
• NPC: Boot Camp. NPC: Ommm. NPC: Sleeeepy.
• Torment of the Week: Perfectionists.
• Guilded Age: Page 3 of Chapter 3.
• Cru the Dwarf: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. I love Cru's dialogue with himself.
• Teh Gladiators: Fight... to the Death!
• Daily Quests: Ok, Now Play Dead. If you're a fan of Emergency Kindergarten, then be sure to read the text beneath the comic.
• LFG: #319 and #320.
• Beyond the Tree: Settling dust.
• Dark Legacy Comics: Keydar Can't Ski. I know that a lot of you were wondering why there was no DLC posted last week, and I am posting it here in case you didn't catch the link in the comment section. We do wish you well!
• Check out the new wallpaper from Complex Actions.
• NoObz: Season Break.
• Equinox is back with a new Northrend series! Here are the first two: Equinox and a Mess O' Mounts and Equinox and His Moral Dilemma. Each one is a little mini-series, so click through them.
• Fail Druid fails some more.
• The Adventures of Disgraph T. Dwarf: Disgraph's Rockin' New Year's Eve. Congrats on graduating, and looking forward to watching the story arc play out!
• Give a warm welcome back to WoW eh! with The Cold Shoulder. Glad to hear you're feeling somewhat better Kelly!
• GU Comics: Built In Maturity.

It seems like so long ago. But only three or four years ago, I got a very special drop from Stratholme. No, the original Stratholme, not even the Culling of Stratholme. I want to say we were doing one of the old timed runs, when you tried to kill Baron Rivendare within 45 minutes. But, we just happened to have a night when the rare-spawn gargoyle, Stonespine, appeared. I got luck and won my very own Stoneskin Gargoyle Cape. When I looked up information about the cape on Thottbot, I found myself a little treat.

The very first comment proclaimed that this cape was "white and looks longer than your average cloak or cape." Something about that comment must have caught the imagination of other WoW players, because the comment thread went on for pages. The Stoneskin Gargoyle Cape became a Thottbot meme, and was (perhaps) a predecessor to things like the Three Wolf Moon shirt. It was an amusing blip on the community of World of Warcraft, but not one I've thought about for a long time.

It's with great joy that I am now the proud owner of a Saronite Gargoyle Cloak, which "drops" from the box after you complete Icecrown Citadel's gunship battle. The flavor text for the cloak proclaims that it is "even longer than your average cloak or cape." It's an unmistakeable shout out to that original item, and one that had me giggling like a mad man. I love it when Blizzard pokes a little fun at themselves, and indulge in a bit of metagame.

I usually leave my cloak invisible, but I absolutely had to turn it back on for the Saronite Gargoyle Cloak. And I assure you, gentle reader, that this item is absolutely white and even longer than your average cape or cloak.

The Scottish Sun reports that a Scottish man made the news for having to choose between his wife and his orc. 42-year old Robert Cushnie was the proud owner of a life-sized World of Warcraft Thrall statue, one of several that Vivendi commissioned from Studio Oxmox to promote Warcraft III (along with a Night Elf female statue). The telecommunications manager scored the 185cm. tall statue when a toy store in nearby Falkirk closed down six years ago.

Much to the dismay of geeks everywhere, Cushnie's wife Dee wasn't comfortable sharing her home with a green-skinned orc and threatened to move back to her Canadian homeland if her husband didn't ditch the Horde Warchief. His wife reportedly said that there was "no room for (the orc) in our life," and Cushnie prudently chose Dee, whom he married in February 2009, over the huge statue. "I just don't like it," Dee said, "I'm only 5ft 3in, so it towers over me, which is quite creepy."

The statue was adopted by a couple in Aberdeen, Michael Thomson, 61, and his wife, Patricia, 55, who report that their 16-year old granddaughter is thrilled with the acquisition. "We wanted him because he's so unusual," said Patricia. Robert and Dee will move to Canada later this month sans the orc. "I'll miss him," Cushnie said, "but I'm glad he's gone to a good home." As this little episode proves, not even the most badass orc can mess with marital bliss!