Crawford of Gorefiend posted a pretty amusing post recently on the official forums: Dalaran Classified Ads. The post lists a variety of help wanted, services offered, and even personals ads from various personalities around Azeroth. There's some pretty amusing ones in the mix.

Inspired, I thought I'd come up with one or two myself:

HELP WANTED: Day Laborers for bridge construction. Must bring own tools, or recover stolen tools from Murlocs. Payment is 2 armor patches a week plus all the Sauteed Sunfish you can eat. Work hours very flexible. Contact Oslow at Lakeshire, Redridge. Projected completion time TBA.

It's not that great, admittedly, but hey. For some real good ones, check out the post.

This is a few days old, but still a quality post. The original poster has a bad experience with a Pop-Tart, leading to nerf calls against fire damage - apparently a pastry being able to take his tongue down to 60% in one GCD is just too much burst. Of course, if the opponents hadn't been running a Pop-Tart/Toaster combo, this never would have happened; burn damage is highly situational.

It's a good set-up, but the thread really starts to shine when later posters get into it, like "You didn't specify the flavour of the pop tart, so we can't exactly see what the problem was. If it was strawberry that's kinda understandable since it is considered a hero class, but if it was brown sugar, yeah, you're making this up." You heard it here first: Strawberry is the Death Knight of toaster snacks.

What do you think: do Pop-Tarts need nerfs, or do you side with the poster who says that "Pop Tarts are fine. l2eat"?

I don't know exactly what's so funny about this long chatlog between some of the more popular undead and evil NPCs of the game (maybe just how similar this crowd ends up being to us), but it is hilarious. Basically a sequel to the old boss chat, this one has "theLichKing" chatting with "Killzone'jaeden" and "An00barak" about everything from how cold it is in Icecrown to just where Sargeras is from. Very well done, Warraven of Ravenholdt. He even gets some nice lore in there even between all of the pony jokes.

And this little chatlog reminded me of all the funny stuff over at Wowbash. If you've never looked through the archives over there, definitely check them out, but be careful. Browsing all of those funny quotes is almost more addictive than actually playing the game.

This thread, sent to us by reader Talmar (thanks!) is probably the best QQ thread I've ever read. Not because it's full of substantive criticism about the class, but just because it's got lots of references meant for literary nerds like me. The styles of Kafka, Shakespeare, Camus, Wilde, and Douglas Adams (who fits in that crowd, right?) all make appearances as players combine old literary quotes with the plight of Fury Warriors.

And when Pynchon shows up on page 3, then the rails really go off the tracks. But it is a lot of fun. Because if you're going to QQ, you might as well do it in style, right?

"Ghostcrawler believed in the perfect Fury build, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter -- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch our arms our further... And one fine morning --

So we grind on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

Adding your mom's worldly wisdom to any situation always makes it better, and clearly the EU forums agree with this sentiment! Elbonio of the European WoW forums wants you to ask your mum to draw the Lich King, even if she's never seen him before. If she asks what he looks like, just ask her to draw what she thinks he'd look like.

I'm pretty sure I've seen this meme before, on the SomethingAwful forums, replacing Arthas with Homer Simpson, but the results are still pretty hilarious. Elbonio's been kind enough to compile a gallery of the kid-tested, mother-approved images that resulted from the experiment.

If you get your mom or significant other to do it, but don't have an EU forum account, feel free to post it in the comments below and I'll assemble them for laughs at a later date.

What are you waiting for? Go ask! But be nice, because after all, she's your mum.

Our reader Fenn wrote in to let us know about a forum thread written by a suspicious player who's certain that her tank of choice is cheating on her with another healer. He never seems to want to group anymore and he's "too tired" to raid. "We have 3 dps so i can't just leave him," she confesses. "(I) don't know what to do."

The thread is pretty much win from the start, and even gets a visit from an amused Nethaera to boot. Suggestions range from "Make him a sandwich" to "Respec Discipline, all tanks like a good beating," sparking arguments over whether the healer had buffed him properly ("A tank has needs!") to whether tanks are cheating scumbags by nature ("What happens in AV, stays in AV"). You can't go wrong, but Fenn correctly observes that page 21 is a particular gold mine.

I have to admit that the response that made me laugh hardest was an early one from Öbvious of Zuluhed: "This is going to sound dirty, but can one of your DPS respec?"

DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO EXERT A CALMING INFLUENCE WHILE NOT ACCIDENTALLY INSULTING ANYONE AND/OR SHOUTING EXPLITIVES AND/OR REVEALING THAT I HAVE GIN IN MY COFFEE MUG.

Yup. Just like that. Caps spam and all. Throw in a "Don't nerf me, bro!" or "To the ground, baby!" at the end of that and you have yourself a real Ghostcrawler statement.

Now this might be some unabashed fanboi-ism on my part, but the question I have after reading that is "What kind of gin do you drink?" I have to imagine Ghostcrawler is the kind of guy who enjoys some top shelf liquor. I'm sure he's making enough at Blizzard to afford it. Perhaps some Tanqueray Rangpur? Or some Anchor Junipero?

Personally I enjoy Bombay Sapphire and the Rangpur, though I've been known to grab some Beefeater if that's all that's available. If Ghostcrawler is reading this, we'd love to know what kind of gin you drink. Feel free to drop us a note on our tip line and we'll update this post.

I don't know that we've ever credited a Forum Post of the Day award to an actual CM comment (though the GM scam comeback was pretty classic), but this post by Drysc deserves it if anything does: when asked by a player if Bolvar Fordragon will get any more original in the expansion, Drysc says that High Overlord Saurfang punched the originality right out of him. Burn much?

And just in case you were worried that a CM would get away with making fun of what might have been a serious player question, Drysc gets burned right back when Aure asks if the same thing happened to Shaman armor sets. "Ouch," as many players say, is about right.

Of course, none of the burning actually answers the questions, so I guess that's what we're here for. No, Bolvar probably won't be redone in the expansion: if the King of Stormwind storyline comes to a head, he may be on his way out anyway (although then who would fight off Onyxia's minions?). And be careful what you ask for with Shaman armor -- next thing you know, we'll have totems coming out of our shoulders (actually, that might be pretty cool). And yes, High Overlord Saurfang can punch the whatever he wants out of whoever he wants.

Telasero of Ravenholdt made an interesting discovery. He claims that he has found proof that Blizzard favors the Horde. He found a some kind of prehistoric bone art hanging from the wall that he believes matches up to the a Cuneiform Symbol for "Favored Son." I am no expert on ancient writing, so I have a hard time verifying the actual symbol, but the pictures are strikingly similar. It could be a coincidence, but I'd like to believe it's an Easter Egg.

Is this undeniable proof that Blizzard is playing favorites with the two factions? I don't think so. Breavis of Nazgrel pointed out that Thrall is known as the chosen son, so the symbol could represent him rather than the entirety of the Horde. The battle will likely rage on about which side Blizzard prefers. Drysc has pointed out in the forums that your opinion on which side is favored is usually based on whichever side you do not play.

Do you believe this to be a coincidence or not?

I've heard some amazing stories about what people have done (or not done) in favor of World of Warcraft. I have to say Lils of EU: Windhammer's story takes the cake. The tale, told by her boyfriend Artimis, describes how she went into labor while playing Warsong Gulch and continued to play until the battle was complete. 12 hours later the couple became proud parents of Hayden. We've heard about weddings, proposals, deaths, and divorces, but a WoW birth is pretty darned epic.

The forum thread had many supporters and detractors for this behavior. I have to agree with Mankirk of Daggerspine "Putting WSG before child birth is pro..." While many believe that the first stop should be the hospital, in this case the new mom was advised to stay calm at home as labor progressed. Nightkestrel of Vashj staunchly defended the couple's labor management decision. Childbirth is an intensely personal thing, and this story has a very happy ending.

Congrats Lils and Artimis, and welcome to the world Hayden! Be sure to check out WoW Rookie every Monday.

Back in March, Mike Schramm reported on a player who paid 20,000 gold to ensure that she would receive the Amani War Bear from the Zul'Aman raid instance. It is not entirely uncommon for players to run their guildmates' alts though low level dungeons for fun or profit or purchasing raid runs or arena points. Any of these may be considered cheating by some players, some more obviously than others. Angona of Hellscream (obviously an alt) had the opportunity to purchase Black Temple gear, though her guild is currently running Serpentshine Cavern, Tempest Keep, and Mount Hyjal.

Her guild leader disapproves of this transaction. Angona quoted him as stating "Only lazy noobs buy gear, that's not what this guild is about. If you want to buy gear, then I suggest you just /gquit right now." This attitude suggests that players should earn their gear, even if a gear upgrade would be good for the guild's raiding efforts overall.

To function properly, all guilds must have rules for participation, gear, and general order. Since the ancient MMORPG days, many guilds have assigned Dragon Kill Points (DKP) to players for their participation in raids and events. The points are turned in for gear rewards from raids. Some guilds dock DKP for members that do not meet their standards. Aerte of Blackrock has questioned the wisdom of his guild's policy on this practice for a member that had regularly violated the rules.

The conundrum begins with the statement. "Recently we had a member quit who during the course of his rather brief stay managed to have about 130 DKP docked for various infractions. Not showing up specced properly, gems unacceptable, enchants unacceptable or non-existent, bad attitude....etc..." The original poster expressed that this may not be the best way to keep players in line.

The original poster noted "Every time I get to that point in 2v2 arena where a psychic scream will let me get off 2-3 mana burns, my fear makes my target run in a perfect L, away from me and behind a pillar before I can even get off 1 cast. It's like that's the exact path they would have taken if they weren't feared."

I actually considered asking my boss if this post could be the first in a new series called "Stupid WoW Criminals," but honestly, I'd prefer to think that this guy is one of kind.

So, here's the deal: A young Warlock named Kiranth of the Aman'thul server (Who has since deleted his post, but you find it quoted a couple posts down from the top in the thread) came to the customer service forums, and in this thread here, claimed that he somehow lost his epic flying skill after buying it on a Monday and playing until Tuesday morning maintenance. He claimed that he'd been trying to contact the GMs for months in order to get the skill back, and that he was incredibly frustrated and about to cancel his 3 accounts if he didn't get the skill.

Luckily, the ever vigilant GMs are always willing to please, and Auryk soon chimed in with an answer to his problem.

I'll summarize what he said after the break, but you really should read it for yourself. It's amazing.

Hotlunch of Thunderlord has a bit of a problem - It seems she was out on the prowl recently, and found herself an AFK Warlock. However, despite the fact that she jumped out of hiding and wailed away at the poor Warlock, the Warlock's faithful Felguard came to his aid and killed her first.

To Hotlunch's credit, she didn't immediately chalk up the blame to overpowered Warlocks but, probably rightly, to her gear. It's pretty true that poorly geared Rogues aren't much trouble to your well geared Warlock. As long as you have the hp and armor to last through their barrage of stuns to get off a fear and trinket out of Crippling Poison, then kite them around while they burn through Cloak of Shadows and Cheat Death, they're pretty easy. It's when you get the well geared rogues with tons of armor penetration and resilience that you start feeling the sting of those blades.

Of course, some people in the thread rightfully pointed out that she should start looking at Opportunist's Battlegear for a quick leg up on PvP gear - it seems like her situation is exactly what it was implemented to help out with, and might have helped out a bit with the Felguard. Good luck to Hotlunch on getting geared up. With a little more preparation, I'm sure the next AFK Warlock won't be so lucky.

But thinking about the situation, I think it's also a good counter to those people who get caught in complaining about "welfare epics" and all that.